Butt-kicking for beginners (in self defence ONLY)

Having to defend yourself can be a scary thing, whether you’re male or female, and it’s not something you’d ever want to actually do. Unfortunately, there are some crazies and baddies out there, and one day they might come after you (cue scary theme music). Now I certainly don’t want them to, but I do want you to be prepared as your mamma might say (usually in reference to taking sunscreen or an umbrella, but it still applies). Hopefully, this will help you if you ever need it!

Always remember to SING! Those who’ve seen Miss Congeniality will know what I’m talking about. So what is SING? Well, it works when your attacker comes at you from behind, and this is it:

S: Solarplex! Don’t be perplexed (get it?… dad joke), it really just means the gut. A strategically placed elbow jab here can work wonders! Cue assailant doubling over in pain.

I: Instep! AKA the foot, stomp on that sh**. For the ladies, this’ll work even better if you’re wearing stilettos (extra OUCH).

N: Nose! Easy enough, just give them a good whack with the back of your fist.

G: Groin! I don’t know how well this works on girls (never been hit there), but all the movies say it’s excruciating for guys, so as a last resort, go for it.

And then… RUN AWAY.

So what do you do if they come straight at you? The most vulnerable parts of the body are the eyes, nose, neck, knees, and groin. I think going after the eyes is a good one, and the knee is apparently the easiest and lowest risk (for yourself) option. Kick the side of the knee, it’ll injure them enough to partially incapacitate them so you can run away. It’s also low-risk to you because it’ll be hard for them to grab your foot.

READ  Cheers to your health!

The top tip: be loud. Yelling will hopefully draw attention to you and signal for help, and fighting back will show the jackass that you’re not an easy target! As they say in Bring It On, “BE AGGRESSIVE, BE, BE AGGRESSIVE!”.

But please don’t just take my word for it – why not sign up to self defence classes and learn the art?

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