Your three-minute guide to not letting your drink be spiked

Drink spiking is a scary reality. All people should have the right to go out and have a drink (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) without having to worry about what’s essentially poisoning. But it happens, and becomes more prevalent each year, according to Australian police. Here’s a Community Safety fact sheet from Victoria Police about drink spiking.

But let’s be realistic. This is the internet – the greatest enabler of laziness that has ever existed, and thus the pinnacle of technological development. Until someone works out how to teleport chocolate directly into our mouths.

The Co-op sells a delicious assortment of chocolates. We’re still working on teleportation.

The Co-op sells a delicious assortment of chocolates. We’re still working on table-to-mouth teleportation.

The laziness that enables pretty much the whole internet is the reason why I’m confident that most of you aren’t going to click that link. I mean, if you’re reading this, you’re probably a student. You have to work hard every day, and in the midst of the chaos that is a student’s life, you’ve probably already clicked a link to get here – a most commendable effort. How much more could anyone ask of you today? Another click? People are so demanding.

In order to reward your click by quenching your thirst for knowledge without asking any more of you (such as asking you to click another link), I hereby present your three-minute guide to not letting your drink be spiked. (Correction: it’s only a one-minute guide, since I’ve spent two minutes introducing it, and getting distracted by some of the chocolate we stock.)

It’s seriously amazing.

1. Plan your fun – talk about what’s on for the day/night with your friends and decide who’s going where when, and with whom. Remember the five W’s: what, where, when, who, and, importantly, why.

READ  Clubbing of a different kind

2. Be protective of your drinks – I’m not saying that you need to clench both hands around your glass, crouch in a corner, and hiss, “No touching the precious,” at everyone you meet. Just make sure that you and all your friends always watch your drinks being poured (or opened, or mixed) and keep an eye on them afterwards.

3. Be clear about who your friends are – obviously you know your friends, but, after a few drinks, it can be easy to feel that someone you’ve just met is a wonderful, trustworthy friend. As a general rule, people you met in the last 24 hours do not count as your friends when it comes to looking after a drink for you.

 4. If you feel bad, do something – talk to your friends, or call security or police. Move to a safe place and seek medical assistance if necessary. This applies whether or not your drink has been spiked – you could be having an allergic reaction, or you might have had one drink too many!

 In summary:  keep an eye on your drinks, stay with trusted friends, and look after each other.

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